The Updates

The News

Turn 6

In the Papers

AN INTERVIEW WITH COLONEL ZERO!!!

Arriving at the Riverview Tavern for the interview by FLYING TAXI, the Colonel seemed Relaxed for a man presiding over a city that had just been placed under MARTIAL LAW. With pipe in hand, he settled down at a table, and I questioned him on the most Pressing Matters of the Day.

Naturally, the first Issue to be discussed was the Shameful failure of the Watchdogs and the imposition of Martial Law in Horizon. Colonel Zero expressed his DISAPPOINTMENT at the lack of Discipline shown by the Watchdogs in Recent Months, but hoped that the LOYAL ORDER OF HOUNDS would soon root out those responsible, allowing them to return to their Duties. It was clear that the Colonel viewed the restoration of ORDER as his highest priority ; he praised those who, like the newly-appointed COUNT MOEBIUS COLUMNA, would assist in keeping Order, and warned "certain individuals" not to attempt to take Advantage of the City’s present state. I was left in No Doubt that the Colonel will use WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY to restore and maintain Order in Horizon.

The Conversation then turning to the Nature of that Order, Colonel Zero expressed his Distaste for the ideals of DEMOCRACY, explaining that he believed the city’s current system – the "Meritocracy" whereby any Person of Talent may enter into, and rise through the ranks of, the Government – to possess greater STABILITY. Stable it may be – but what of FREEDOM? At this, the Colonel shook his Head, and said that Recent Events in LASINIA had demonstrated YET AGAIN that the NOBLEST IDEALS can easily lead to the most BRUTAL TERROR. Having watched the Lasinian Revolution unfold First-Hand, I can Understand the Colonel’s distrust of Unchecked Idealism, but I for one cannot ultimately share the Distrust of the Common Man evident in his Anti-Democratic Sentiments.

Speaking further of Lasinia, Colonel Zero said that for as long as the LPLF continue their REIGN OF TERROR, the Remnants of the old Lasinian Government will enjoy the Support of Horizon – which, if they request it, or if the situation continues to Deteriorate, may include MILITARY INTERVENTION! It would be a Sad Day indeed if the Revolution, which began with such Bright Hopes, were to end in the Quagmire of an INTERNATIONAL WAR!

We then spoke of matters Closer to Home. Of the recent SCANDALS that had Shaken the Columna Family, Colonel Zero said that he had seen CONVINCING EVIDENCE, including GRAPHIC MEDICAL RECORDS, that CRACE COLUMNA had suffered a Variety of PERVERSE and HORRIBLE TORTURES at the hands of her Brother, ALRIC!!! Of the Colonies in the Treacherous Lands, he said that he hoped they would make Horizon Great again, and praised the heroic BARON MONTAGUE for Inspiring hundreds of Citizens to seek a New Life of Adventure in the LANDS BEYOND THE WALL!!! He expressed his satisfaction at the recent Destruction of the IMPERIALIST CELL led by DUKE CROWLAND, but was Pessimistic about the Prospects of wiping out the BLACK STAIN OF IMPERIALISM entirely; even though few Imperialists now Remember the Empire itself, he said, it remains a Rallying-Point for all those who wish to express their TOTAL REJECTION of the STATUS QUO in the most VIOLENT and INDISCRIMINATE manner possible.

My meeting with the Colonel left me Convinced that the City is in Safe Hands; his Passion for ORDER and STABLITY, at home and abroad, is Unmistakable. But I Fear that this same Passion, which serves us so well in Dangerous and Troubled Times, may ultimately prove Stifling, blocking out the FRESH WINDS OF CHANGE. Who can doubt that our Present System stands in Desperate need of REFORM? Colonel Zero will Defend that System to his Last Breath, but we must look to Other Quarters for the men to Change it for the Better.
- James Ridgway

LADY BLAZE – DANGEROUS MADWOMAN?

Stung by this discourteous behaviour on the part of his Adversary, Frost decided that the time had come to EXPOSE her true nature, and in an EXCLUSIVE interview with the Post he REVEALED her TERRIBLE SECRETS. Lady Blaze, he said, is a PSYCHOTIC MADWOMAN driven only by HATRED towards her two nemeses, FROST and THE DARK AVENGER. It is SHE who, in the guise of THE WHITE AVENGER, has attempted to DISCREDIT her Dark Rival, while in her Official Capacity as Governor she has turned the Colonists against their SAVIOUR and BENEFACTOR, FROST!!! Despite Risking his Life on Countless Occasions, this Heroic Explorer now finds himself REVILED in the very Colonies he helped to Found!!! It is our Hope that these SHOCKING accusations will be THOROUGHLY investigated by the proper Authorities, and that – if proved True – a more Suitable Governor can be found for Horizon’s Colonies!

Society Couple Tie the Knot

It has been agreed between the two families that Crace will continue to use the name "Columna" on a day-to-day basis, although she will officially become "Mrs. Daynann", and any children born to the happy couple will bear the name "Columna-Daynann"...

BLAZE SLAMMED BY AERIAL THEATRE!!!

See page 23 for details on how to win TWO FREE TICKETS to a showing of your choice of the Aerial Theatre.

Columna Case - Sensational Reversal

Mayoral Legions Lose Guns

BARON MONTAGUE DONATES WING OF MANSION TO ORPHANAGE

"It's fantastic - everything is incredible and the Baron tells us the most amazing stories! And we can play in the garden all we like," said Adam Shaw, aged 8.

"We're very pleased with the way the children are settling down and we hope that they'll be happy to move back to the orphanage after we're sure that it's safe to do so. The Baron has been very kind to us and made the move very easy for everyone," commented Rosie Delorto.

RAID ON WEISS HOUSEHOLD!
AVATAR OF LACRYMOSA SLAIN!
ARCANUM GUARD LEAD BY HEROIC MIA DELAN!

The avatar, taking the form of a MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN, was eventually pursued to the roof of the house, where she was RUN THROUGH by the young adventurer "Frost", before being QUARTERED AND BURNED. Eyewitnesses report that the avatar underwent a HORRIFIC TRANSFORMATION during the course of the battle, revealing her unnatural nature to the world.

"We believe that the avatar we succeeded in killing is the one known in some esoteric texts as 'the Mother'", said a representative of the Guard. "It appears to have insinuated itself into Ms. Weiss's household, attempting to gain control of her and her family through a campaign of emotional manipulation and horrific magical rituals. Ms. Delan assures us that the danger is now over and the avatar can no longer rise. This is a significant blow against the foul god of loss and misery Lacrymosa, and a great day for mankind."

Urtovsk Falls to Baron Litkinstein's Forces

Urtovsk was a significant site to Captain Qveton's regime, since it is the only known location where good Vegdar-Dust can be harvested. The locals, having trained themselves to climb the Wall, harvest a certain lichen which grows on the wall near Urtovsk, from which the Dust is refined. It seems unlikely that Vegdar-Dust will be banned under the new regime; in an unguarded moment, Baron von Litkinstein was heard to say "I'll make sure those stinking peasants harvest Dust for me every waking moment of their miserable little lives!"

Realism Or Debasement - Artistes Debate

Now, it seems, a choice of sorts is emerging with a wave of more gritty and thought-provoking plays reputedly in development. The first of these, due to open soon, is The Boy With the Brain That Turned Into Clockwork, and is causing considerable controversy in theatrical circles.

Far from the cut-glass accents and well-trodden tales of mythical figures to which theatregoers are accustomed, The Boy With the Brain... tells the tale of a disturbed young man called "Boaz", who leads a gang of so-called "spring-kiddies" in nightly rampages of murder, beatings, and theft - "a bit of the old ultraviolence", as the character describes it. Inspired by a wide range of mind-altering substances, the gang's rampages are ended by Boaz's capture and beating by an unspecified police force, who hand him over to an equally unspecified grey-cloaked group, who promise to make him "civilised". He is then brainwashed by a combination of drugs, torture and clockwork. As a result, Boaz the young thug becomes incapable of violence, made physically sick by the thought of pain or suffering. This "civilised" specimen is no longer capable of living in the outside world, and suffers at the hands of his former gangland enemies and "droogies" (friends). His suffering becomes a symbol of opposition to the government of the city in which he lives and its continual referral to the grey-cloaked group. In the end Boaz, a helpless pawn of political forces, has his brainwashing reversed - but faces an uncertain future.

Scenes of graphic violence in the play have led to debate among senior theatre figures as to whether it represents a move to greater realism, or simply a debasement of the "noble arts of the theatre".

Count Logovo Signs Last Treaty

Witnessed on the 7th of Autumn's Dawn by Colonel Zero and the ambassadors of Jurica, Irgar, and the loyalist Lasinian regime.

WAVE OF SPRING-KID VIOLENCE IN SLUMS!

Our social commentator, Dick Thistlejohn, says: "Are we no longer safe in our own Homes?? Why oh why is our 'beloved' Colonel Zero not willing to Take a Stand against the Youth of Today?? When I was a young boy, the most we would do was Scrump Apples; where has it All Gone Wrong? Is there worse in Store??? I blame these violent plays..."

[The column continues for some time in the same vein, before a hastily-inserted last paragraph.]

STOP PRESS! The CARTEL-AFFILIATED DEATH B***H SPRING GANG have been found DEAD IN THE STREETS, having been QUIETLY ASSASSINATED by UNKNOWN ASSAILANTS! A statement ALLEGEDLY originating from the Cartel has emerged suggesting that the Cartel have DEFEATED THE DEATH B***HES when the Slum-based gangs COULD NOT, and that the Cartel believes in "safe streets". Is the Cartel claiming credit for a Three Families reprisal? Did the Death B***hes misinterpret their orders from their CARTEL MASTERS? Or did the Cartel punish their spring-kiddy allies for the crime of GETTING CAUGHT? Keep reading the ILLUMINATOR for the latest!

PUBLIC-SPIRITED JURICANS CLEAR STREETS OF DEATH BITCHES

Victory in Vegdarbarra

The joint statement also tells us that the Horizon/Jurican expeditionary force will now move to "fortify the Lasinian/Vegdarbarran border, to prevent the instability in Lasinia disturbing the hard-won peace in Vegdarbarra". This paper suggests to its readers that the redeployment may in reality be connected to ongoing negotiations regarding possible intervention in Lasinia...

LEGIONS AND WATCHDOGS LAUNCH CRACKDOWN AGAINST CARTEL!

Already many high-ranking members of the Cartel have been arrested; Eric Tuco, alleged enforcer for the organisation, was released on bail but is expected to stand trial on conspiracy charges in the near future. Haythim Marid, sinister master of the Cartel, is on the run and a 700 Guilder reward for his arrest has been announced. Already thousands of FILTHY JUNKIES are SHIVERING AND VOMITING IN THE STREETS as they undergo withdrawl from the NOXIOUS POISONS with which they have RUINED THEIR BODIES - proof of the effectiveness of Penelope Weiss's HARSH DISCIPLINE!

[OOC: The article is accompanied by a fanciful artist's completely gratuitous depiction of Penelope Weiss wearing a decidedly non-regulation Watchdog uniform whilst handcuffing a prone Jurican harem-girl.

[Oh yes, and that's a Major reward for bringing in Marid.]

PRUNE TO SAVE YOUR CITY!

Figures seen moving in the trees are a sure sign that the spiritual agents are moving in force to awaken the forrest and bring about the downfall of the City. Readers, we cannot let this happen! Do not fear, however, for the Post can report that you can help! The spirits are relying upon the wildlife to do their dirty work and you can stop this happening. Whereever you see an out of place or overgrown plant it is your duty to keep it controlled! Trim the brambles and prune the trees so that the Land spirits will never be able to overcome the greatness of Horizon!

COUNT LOGOVO KILLED BY GHOSTS!!!

WATCHDOGS are BAFFLED; nobody could have gotten IN or OUT of the locked room, leading the Horizon Post's Esoteric Correspondant, OCCITAN SHAW, to conclude that LOGOVO has been murdered by GHOSTS, who floated THROUGH THE VERY WALLS THEMSELVES! "The ghosts that attacked Logovo are symptomatic of an infestation of unworldly spirits throughout the city." says Shaw. "These invisible ghosts could be anywhere! Fortunately, my experience as a mighty sorceror and my previous life as an avatar of the Intercessor have taught me that they can be temporarily held back by hopping twice on one leg before breakfast and eating no eggs."

BUY TOMORROW'S ISSUE, where Occitan Shaw details how to PERMANENTLY BANISH these ghosts and PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES!

An Unusual Honeymoon

Unusual the Captains Daynann certainly are, but mutters of approval for this couple have been heard in many quarters...

Captain Animo Exposed As Unregistered Spy; Martial Law Ends

Under the terms of the Last Treaty, Captain Amino must now be exiled to Jurica. Meanwhile, Vizier al-Nadun, the Jurican Ambassador, has presented himself to Colonel Zero to receive the Treaty-mandated three slaps on the wrist. Some commentators have expressed concern that Animo will not now be facing trial in Horizon for the mess hall riot. This reporter visited the newly-renamed Backsladder Memorial Mess Hall to seek the opinions of the Watchdogs, but they remain tight-lipped about the issue. However, an anonymous note was later delivered to me claiming to be from a serving Watchdog, claiming that "that bitch Comisner's [sic] got it coming, what she did to Animo was wrong. Animo was the dude."

With Animo and Bryant acting as scapegoats for the issues facing the Watchdogs, the Mayor has officially proclaimed the period of limited martial law over, and has appointed Commissioner Griggs as High Commissioner. The rule of the Legions proved peaceful and quiet; it remains to be seen whether the revamped Watchdogs will succeed in regaining the trust for the public, or whether the general populace will look back on the past month as a golden era of peace and tranquility.

BLAZE VANISHES!!!

Resident occult expert Occitan Shaw has been meditating on the disappearance of LADY BLAZE. He has located her life sign trapped inside a cell created by an EVIL TRANSWALL CULT, who want the control of the Treacherous Lands for themselves!!! These are worshippers of the alleged God of Poo, whose cult is based in the Dungeons of Deyande RIGHT BENEATH OUR FEET!!!

Bryant Executed For Conspiracy to Murder

A representative of Colonel Zero commented that he was “shocked and disgusted” by the behaviour of the former Walking Corpse but hopes that “this will mark the end of the Watchdogs’ troubles and a return to stability for Horizon. Those who seek only to serve their own ends have no place on the Watchdogs and hopefully Bryant's replacement will be efficient in rooting out all such individuals. Whilst the Watchdogs mourn the loss of loyal member Raymond Backsladder, we also must commend Commisoner Penelope Weiss for her efforts in obtaining the evidence necessary to convict Bryant.”

NEW HOPE IN LASINIA

Travelling through Lasinia, at great Personal Risk, I saw at First Hand the Devastation that the CIVIL WAR has wrought. The nation teeters on the brink of FAMINE, while MASSACRES and REPRISALS are Daily Events. Wherever I went, I attempted to Persuade the LPLF that their TERROR TACTICS ran counter to the very REVOLUTIONARY IDEALS in whose service they had first taken up arms, and that by Pursuing them they were Squandering the good-will of both the PEOPLE and the INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY. While many remained DEAF to the VOICE OF REASON, some were willing to Listen, and I was Gratified to see a new Faction emerging amongst them which Repudiated the use of Terror and agreed in Principle with the Ideals of DEMOCRACY, although they do not consider the time yet Ripe to hold Elections. While less devoted to the cause of LIBERTY than the Late, Lamented LDF, in the Quagmire that is contemporary Lasinia these "Democratic Gradualists" are the only faction who deserves any decent man or woman’s Support. I only hope that they will not fall victim to the next LPLF Purge, for they represent the LAST HOPE for Lasinia’s Future.
- James Ridgway

Fairy Dust Hits the Streets

[OOC: In game mechanic terms, Fairy Dust is an Exotic Drug.]

Trans-Wall Colonies Come Under Attack

While several minor Kraeling raids have been seen off since the founding of Leander and New Urtovsk, none have been on such a scale as this one; already several colonists are fleeing through the Gate to the True Lands. The situation has not been helped by confusion in the colonies' power structure following Lady Blaze's recent disappearance. The future looks grim indeed for the colonies across the Wall. Following this defeat, Horizon's hopes for taming the Treacherous Lands look soon to be dashed.

Lasinia: Something Must Be Done, Says Goodly Chamber

Although muttering has been heard among the goodly councillors in recent months, and Count Moebius Columna has long been drawing attention to the need for action in Lasinia, the Lasinian embassy has recently issued a formal request for help in dealing with the LPLF. Following this plea, a speech by Count Moebius yesterday afternoon seemed to strike a chord with his fellow nobles:

"My lords, my fellow comrades, the evil that lurks in Laisinia must be fought and vanquished at once! The Laisinian embassy has contacted me and given this signed plea for help from our goverment! And what could I do but try to help them? Nothing but come here and ask the same question aloud! What can Horizon do but help our fellow brothers of Lasinia, The most civilised country in the True Lands? I say that Here and Now the Chamber has to speak! If we help now we could be helped in the future! Let's move to stop the bloodbath in Lasinia! Let's move to free it from the Evil Cancer of those Leftist Terrorists! Let's do something NOW!"

Your correspondent was present to see the electrifying effect of this speech on the Goodly Chamber, greeted as it was with applause and calls of "here, here!" A number of Goodly Councillors responded positively to Count Columna's initiative, and the way was paved for a motion that "This Chamber believes that Horizon and the rest of the Four Nations have a duty to save the people of Lasinia by armed intervention in the current civil war."

Although the Mayoralty's only official response to the motion has been to issue a curt statement to remind people that the Goodly Chamber's opinions do not dictate or necessarily reflect government policy, unofficial contact suggests that the idea of armed intervention is under serious consideration. Similar unofficial suggestions have been forthcoming from the Jurican and Irgarim embassies; unsurprisingly, the Vegdarbarran embassy has not yet commented. It is thought that negotiations about the exact terms of possible armed intervention are under negotiation between the Mayoralty and the governments of Irgar, Jurica, and Lasinia.

Spotlight On Gyran Rampeshti

Rampeshti is also in charge of the replacable springs project, an innovation which is expected to revolutionise clockwork. The idea is simple: produce a spring which can be wound up in advance, and inserted into a clockwork device to power it when necessary. Adapting a device to use replacable springs should prove simple and inexpensive, and would allow users to run their clockwork devices continuously if they utilise multiple prewound replacable springs. This also has the beneficial side effect that if the spring on the device breaks it is quick and inexpensive to replace it.

The artistry of the replacable springs, of course, is an important aspect of them. Sleek and compact, the design of the springs may prove iconic; the quiet "click" as the springs lock into place and the smooth, quiet whirr as they "spring" into action may soon be intimately associated with the clockwork experience. Best of all, the front and back plates of the spring unit are replacable, allowing spring units to be customised to fit seamlessly into a clockwork device. No more need unsightly keyholes blemish your masterpiece, thanks to the spring project!

Adventurer "Frost" Declared Governor For Life of Trans-Wall Colonies

The colonies have, for now, been saved, and following pressure from the inhabitants of Leander and New Urtovsk, Frost has been declared Governor for Life of the two Trans-wall colonies.

New Directions In the Lasinian Revolution?

It is the opinion of this newspaper that these "democratic gradualists" represent a welcome renewal of the political ideology of the Lasinian revolution.

FAIRY-NUFF!
FAE AMBASSADOR GREETS TREACHEROUS LAND COLONIES

On the Grapevine

"Bob" Leaves Rats

"Hear what?"

"Penelope Weiss has left the Dockyard Rats! She's taking this Illegal Organisations bit awfully seriously. She's even moved out of the Docks in case Madam Velvet tries to have her killed..."

"Wait up, Who's Penelope Weiss?"

"`Bob'."

"`BOB' IS A WOMAN?"

"Oh for crying out loud..."

Cartel Civil War?

"What happened?"

"Those young Cartel thugs - called themselves the Dread Britches or something ridiculous like that - shouldered into the Slums the other day and killed old Mrs. McGreggor for looking at em' funny. Shouted something about 'we are the generals of the Cartel and this is what happens when you cross us.'"

"Oh my goodness, picking on the old and helpless now - those villains!"

"Well, the Cartel have been causing trouble of late with people all over the city and I always thought Mrs. McGreggor's brownies were a little suspicious..."

"But what's this about the Cartel the killing its own?"

"That's just it... Two days later all those thugs were dead - killed by the hand of the Cartel, so they say."

"It's civil war for sure. Retribution killing... especially if Mrs. McGreggor was playing for the wrong Cartel faction..."

Rise of the Under-Chamber

"Ok, sit down, this'll take some explaining. The Under-Chamber's this secret counterpart to the Goodly Chamber that runs the criminal underworld. All the big gangs have signed up to it - the Three Families, the Dockyard Rats, Inmack's Boys, the Rumblers..."

"The Cartel?"

"Hell no, they've been kept out of it. The Beggars are thinking about signing up, though, and there's this outfit called the Hidden Mob which is involved."

"Never heard of any Hidden Mobs."

"Neither have I. Anyhow, between them the Under-Chamber mobs have agreed on various means by which they can go about their business without accidentally triggering martial law, since none of them want that. They've agreed that disputes between mobs are going to be handled quietly - duels between champions, or bigger fights in deserted parts of the Slums or Ruins are cool, but open violence which might prompt the Watchdogs or Legions to crack down are out. Ghouls, dogs, foreign ambassadors, and government targets are out of bounds for similar reasons, and members shouldn't collaborate with the HPLF or Emperor's Front."

"So what does it mean?"

"Well, it looks like freelancers are going to have a hard time from now on - the Under-Chamber wants a complete monopoly on illegal activity in the city and intends to establish it. They're planning on passing any evidence they come up with of people commiting crimes without being a member of an Under-Chamber mob to the Watchdogs - and then taking more violent action if the Watchdogs fail to arrest the guys in question."

"What, even if they're just smuggling a few luxuries in their fishing boat?"

"Yeah, about that..."

"You're shaking me down, aren't you?"

"Sorry, Bruce, rules are rules."

"Alright, you win. How do I join the Dockyard Rats?"

"Oh, it's not difficult if you've got a current member like me to sponsor you..."

Fairy Dust and Blue Wine From the Dockyard Rats

"What?"

"You know that special wine the Cartel have been selling?"

"Don't think so..."

"Thought not - they've been careful about who they sell it to, only giving it out to select clients."

"Real good stuff, is it?"

"Yeah, it's like desert wine only it's bright blue and it's like nothing you've *ever* had before. Real vintage stuff."

"So what about it?"

"So the Dockyard Rats have got themselves a regular supply, and they're happy to sell it on."

"Sweeeeeeet..."

"Yeah, I hear the Rats are the sole source for Fairy Dust as well. And they've still the only people dealing good Vegdar-Dust in town - the Cartel have had to cut all but their biggest clients off to preserve their supplies."

"Sucks to be the Cartel, I guess..."

[OOC: In game mechanic terms, Blue Wine is an Exotic Drug.]

Dropping Star Essence Is Dangerous

"Why"

"Just.... be careful... I think you've got some star essence in your hair and it could drop at any moment"

"You what?"

"Star essence... in your hair. If it falls you've had it! BOOM. Dead.... see... that's how dangerous it is. Everyone knows that... well... at least that's what I got told by Mavis down the street who heard it from Eddie who got it from a begger he knows..."

"How the heck would I have got star essense in my hair?"

"I don't know but there's deffinitly something in your hair..."

"That's a ribbon."

"..."

thwack

Duel At the Riverview

Grey Order to Move Into Treacherous Lands

"No. They're storming the palace?"

"That's what I thought at first, but apparently they're sending a team of settlers into the Treacherous Lands. They're not travelling light, either: the ones I saw are pulling these huge covered carts."

"Wow. Wonder what they've got planned over there?"

"Dunno. I asked one of them, and he said they were going to provide aid to the colonies."

A Significant Wager

"You're not still on about that skylarking, are you?"

"Well, yeah, but it's not just ordinary skylarking this time. The Grey Order are racing their new Wonder Winders against the Clockwork Guild's replacable springs!"

"I see."

"It's a hell of a way to get attention. And I hear they've been betting pretty heavily on it."

"Well, what's a little flutter?"

"This isn't just a little flutter. If the Order win, then the Clockworkers' Guild are going to let Grey Order members in as members. If the Guild win, then the Order will agree to move all agents out of Horizon!"

"Wow. Somebody out there must be pretty sure they're going to win."

In the Small Ads

To: Mysterious Benefactor

HELLO FRIEND!

I have a large amount of money - 100,000 Guilders - that I need to transfer out of Vegdarbarra. However, thanks to the Baron's restrictions I cannot use my own bank account. I am appealing for anyone who is willing to keep 100,000 Guilders in their bank account for a brief period of time. Naturally, you will be compensated for your efforts - 10,000 Guilders you may keep. The rest of the money will be used to set up an orphanage for children rendered parentless by the conflicts in Vegdarbarra.

Please send your bank account details and 200 Guilders to cover various paperwork fees and bribes in Vegdarabarra to P.O. Box 427, Horizon Central Post Office, and I will arrange the money transfer. Thank you for helping out a refugee in distress!

[OOC: 10,000 Guilders is a Staggering amount, and 100,000 is an absolute fortune. Anyone wishing to take up this offer should note down in Housekeeping that they are sending a Major amount of money to the address.]

EXPERT SEEKS EMPLOYMENT

James Bisley Reveals Clockwork Appendages

JUST LISTEN TO WHAT OUR SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE TO SAY!!!
"Thank you Mr. Bisley. With my new arm I can finally enjoy the life I longed to lead."
"The clockwork arm you gave me is wonderful! It's changed my life!"

DO NOT DELAY; TRY TODAY!!!!

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