"To listen to those who are Wise, to advise those who are not, and to say naught to those who are unworthy."
"Correct, Douglas! And by the third hallmark of Wisdom, I dare say Earpenny will be less forthcoming in future. We can no longer expect to claim his advice for free - now the Ordeal must be passed if we mortal men are to win his counsel. Now, Bokruk is most definitely now the Wanderer, and Marlaine has claimed the Estate of Secrets... Jeremy, why must some things remain secret?"
"So the ears that hear them are not struck deaf, so the eyes that see them are not plucked out, so the mind that knows them is not razed."
"Who's that according to?"
"The priest-king Koab, in his account of the fall of the Reliquary."
"Well, in this Koab is correct, but he is prone to hyperbole..."
I saw the Sun rise on its majestic unicycle, brother.
- I can see the Sun on its unicycle from here, Dolfod, as it passes over my head. Is that all you saw?
Ah, my brother, but you were not there on the horizon as it rose! Laetatio himself, Ruler of the Upper Air, was there, and so too was an army of functionaries eager to gain his favour, and such dignitaries of the Court as could spare a few hours, and many gods from other Courts and from none, and spirits, mortals, beasts and monsters, all waiting for the promised moment to arrive. As Night slunk westward, six heralds with tabards emblazoned with golden wheels blew a fanfare, and the Sun rose, to the applause of all the gathered creatures!
- Applause, Dolfod? Surely you mean laughter? A unicycle is hardly a dignified conveyance.
Brother, this was truly a Unicycle fit for a Starqueen! Its path was straight and true, as if the Sun had been riding unicycles for years! The salamander-skin seat and tyre, the intricately embossed framework, the flags and ribbons... ah, it is hard to describe. I, too, had never thought that I would find a unicycle to be a graceful and regal mode of transportation - and yet this unicycle was both those things and more. And alongside rode Fire-of-Noon in the Sun's old chariot, waving to the crowd and escorting the Sun along its path.
- Would that I had a unicycle so fine, Dolfod - I might travel as much as you. When I was young and so was the world...
Wait, brother! See what transpires in the far skies!
- The world is much dimmer these days, or mayhap it is my eyes, but I cannot see anything in the far skies... what did you see, Dolfod?
I saw a great collision of cloud and lightening in the sky. It was mighty and it was mean and much troubled in intent.
- A god of Storms is with us once again?
By no official assignment to the post, indeed the two of churning force do battle through the sky with little thought to whom they might disturb. The clashes strike the land and burn it to a crisp and with them fly such gusts and sleet as few mortals have seen.
- Surly disturbing mortals is but a trivial thing at most?
True, they will be not cause much grief to men in such a scattered world. But more I fear will the other gods be disturbed. The clash between the courts is coming I fear, as there is much that these two competitors to disregard. Deep places do not hold in check the wind or rain, yet rally them, these two will do and have as they see fit. Such presumption will not be lightly taken by the Upper Air.
- Agreed, and who are these two, upstart gods and New?
New indeed and pushing wilfully for change. They go by Squall and Monsoon, and while both covet expansion of their would-be rights, the second seems more thirsty than the first. Change is in the Air perhaps, and I will keep a close watch on such happenings.
- Reckless, rude and improper - such behaviour was not seen in my time, save for the regrettable War of the Gods. Truly an age has passed. Where do you go now, Dolfod?
I go back to the road - until the next time, brother.
"Also, on behalf of Newer York I'd like to thank the K Group for the supplies they sold us at very reasonable rates - guys, they're just what we needed, and we're going to give careful thought to your proposal. If the Cockroach Gang are listening: we now have a grenade launcher. Approach at your own risk.
"To anyone who's listening and has petrol or machine parts to spare, we've had an excellent crop of apples, wheat and barley, and Jaques has even managed to get his vineyard going. We've had lots of reports from other communities that they have had similarly good harvests of the same crops, so if you've been having trouble with your food supply I advise planting those crops. Some of our southern listeners have told us that the cotton and tobacco have failed - they'd been cutting back on them anyway to grow food for themselves, but if you were thinking of making a trip south to trade for cotton and smokes, don't bother - they don't have any to trade.
"Things are looking up folks as miracles of every shape and size continue to bring salvation to the masses. We have a report just in of an addition to our 'Latest and Greatest New Age Wonders' list!
"We have heard from a new and exciting source that a huge mountain, nearly 8,000 feet high has risen up at the edge of the King Leopold Range in the wastes of Australia. But that's not the most impressive thing about this story, not by a long shot. The mountain is reported to be topped by a glowing green icecap which holds within it a tropical garden paradise, complete with fruits, food and flowers, streams and songbirds of great beauty, all that a person could want, especially out in the barren lands of Australia! Imagine the luck of the small group of Northwest coast travellers who were passing by only to be swept up by the earth shooting upwards beneath them. Apparently there were no fatalities, indicating that this is the work of a truly great and merciful god, who granted a small child a beautiful pearl before disappearing in a flurry of feathers and light. But don't get your hopes up folks, our source, who wishes to remain nameless has since been unable to find his way back up the mountain and apparently the tunnels he travelled through to get out have disappeared. We'll keep you up to date with the latest advances and discoveries, but progress so far has been slow.
"There's been several reports of two other such instances of divine intervention out in the western States, so let's move onto them now. I've finally got my second shortwave set working so I can now take your updates live on the air. If you've been listening regularly you'll know that Doug has sent in several good reports from Lost Angeles, his commune on the shore of San Andreas bay. Doug, can you hear me?"
"kssst... Sure can, Harry."
"Great, give the people your report when you're good 'n' ready."
"Cool. Well, couple a' months ago we at Lost Angeles got visited by some guys, said they were from New Vegas. They said that Vegas wasn't a ghost town no more an' that the Shadow-King..."
"Duke of Shadows."
"Yeah, that's the one, he'd fulfilled the promise which'd been engraved on those big rocks in the sky..."
"You've seen one of them in California?"
"Yup, just like the one you mentioned. Anyways, they said that a `Mr Smith' was in charge o' the town now, and that if we liked we could go and work for Mr Smith. They had these brochures with them... man, that town has changed. It's all high-rise now, lotsa neon as before, but it don't look modern... looks like Bladerunner would have if they'd filmed it in 1920. At first I thought the photos were taken at night, but the MIBs said it was always dark there, and even the desert sands were black, up to a hundred miles out. They said if we'd come to Vegas we could live in one of the apartment blocks at the edge of town and work at the casinos or the hotels or the bars or the whorehouses, or swear the Oath o' Shadows an' join the police.
"Police are supposed to be really strong there - sounded like this Mr Smith had a law-and-order trip goin' on - so we decided it wasn't our bag and told the MIBs we weren't interested. Sure are glad we did - we've had travellers come from New Vegas sayin' how the pigs are totally outta hand, an' how the tall buildin's are so lonely because not many people wanna trudge out into the desert to live in eternal night.
"Besides, there's a far nicer attraction closer to home. Beautiful river valley appeared there in the last couple o' weeks - source o' the river is just West o' where the Nevada sands turn black. We're debatin' movin' Lost Angeles north so's we can live by the river - the plants grow really nice there, an' there's so many fruit trees. It's like a little bit o' paradise, enough to make you wanna pack it all in and tend to the sheep. Franklin who was one o' the boys who went an' checked it out said the place made him edgy, but he's always been a bit flakey."
"Thanks, Doug. Now, listeners, I promised earlier this week to tell you how we at Central Park managed to make our water wheel... ksss... electricity... kzzzt...."
The city of London is beginning to regain its former glory as a political and economic hub for Britain and the world. Reports that the city has established a defence force which has both successfully fought off raiders and even broken up several bandit gangs, established a market for barter in the old Stock Exchange which has attracted people from all over Europe, and is even making progress on finding alternate power sources, all indicate the beginnings of a rebirth.
Traders from that capital having been spreading news of the steady revitalisation of the former metropolis, apparently the result of the influence of a new leadership figure. An unconfirmed report is that the leader is a young woman; perhaps we may speculate an individual in the vein of Britain's last Iron Lady (though we may hope that she does not share Mrs Thatcher's obvious ties to the clandestine 'Iron Men' group, who, this paper believes, are responsible for the global calamity).
This paper hopes that all European settlements can undergo similar recoveries, not least our home city of Berlin. As such we call upon all able-bodied readers to do their civic duty in aiding the re-establishment of order.
Those of our readers who came to the Berlin camp after fleeing Britain should be aware that Dave and Maureen Platt are trying to arrange a party to return to London and help the rebuilding effort - anyone interested in returning home should contact them at their residence in the British shanty.
Yes, I know Udon is dead. Said on the shortwave - Udon got killed makin' a speech at a rally in Kinsasha when a pack o' man-beasts poured out of the jungle. Sounded like they razed the town when they were done with him - radio went silent suddenly after the guy screamed "They're comin' for us!"
But you didn't hear about the new Empress? Where you been, man?!? She's comin' to Jo'burg next week to call for our fealty - you really need to hear her speak. She's an inspiration. She can summon great powers to strike down her enemies, there's been talking horses goin' from town to town singin' her praises... they say she prophesised the comin' of the Sun and the death of Udon, and that she can make Africa the greatest power in the world. I believe her, too - I don't know much about these great Gods who've come outta nowhere, but she seems to know how they work an' how we can deal with them. We're goin' to do just fine under Empress Typhona.
What's that? Which weirdos? Oh, those guys over there? Dunno, some kinda workmen I guess, come in every day, around this time, say they've got a big job on, fixing up some rich guys place, Count of Heirs I think it was, sounds like a right snob if you ask me. Anyway, they said they've gotta do it for some big party he's wanting to throw, make it all sparkly and stuff, well I told em you can't let the Upper crust walk all over you, they'd spit on us as soon as see us. But they said they didn't mind, this Count guy's a good boss they say, gonna sort something for `em to get some other contract they don't wanna do sorted. I said, how can you turn down work at a time like this? But they didn't seem too fussed about the money. Yeah, I know what you mean, do look kinda like that Graceland guy. He was a funny one, haven't seen him again, guess Udon sorted things, though given that he got sorted himself, you never know, it's all change around here isn't it?
Who calls upon dread Illisozt? Know you the peril in which you stand, puny weaver of magics?
- Oh shut up and answer my questions, you pathetic excuse for a fiend.
I’ll swallow your soul... aaaarggh it burnnsss! Ahem... Very well I shall heed your plea, ask what you will.
- Do the Children of Grace still contest against the minions of the Unreal?
An easy question. The battle is done, they fight no more.
- Describe what transpired; who prevailed and how?
The Unreal must bind new fools in their service, those ones have met their end.
- Go on, I asked how it happened.
It gratifies me to know that such impatient magi rarely live long.
- I have endured long centuries, fool. Now answer me.
Anyhow I shall report: The Children huddled in fear, waiting for the Gods to aid them. Shining new weapons were bestowed upon them, but still they cowered in their ranks. Just as I thought that there would be no sport that day, a bold figure strode forward, gave a loud cry and charged at the foe. In the wake of this assault the Children found heart and gave battle as well. Soon the crows moved in to pick at tainted flesh.
- Tell me, who was it that led the charge?
I do not believe I owe you this answer, but it pleases me to give it you; the... valiant leader was Roax the Berzerk; look to your tomes if you would know more of him.
- Pah! Do not think me unversed in theology, demon. Leave now, I am done with you.