Red Dragon Star

Serving the Lowest Common Denominator.

RED DRAGON TALKING AGAIN!

After the recent roughing up ofour beloved editor, gossip columnist, sports writer, sketch artist, and anchor man the Red Dragon has had to spend the last few months recovering in one of the wonderful free clinics funded by Tim, also known as The Shrubber. Red Dragon would like to thank Tim the Shrubber and also to say that it has the exclusive on the Theodore Mandeville and Seven in New Taeorn drugs bust scandal. Coming soon to a paper near you once we have built stronger doors.

RED DRAGON REWARDS.

The Red Dragon would also like to thank Sir Tim for his work in making the coasts of the world safe from sea monsters. Even if it has been him seen near the scene of several gruesome murders recently.The Red Draogn is sure that h is innocent, no really.

NITLAS NIGHTMARE!

Things up north never seem quiet to us down here in the New Taeorn region. Why just recently Nitlas avoided civil war through the master diplomacy of King Andor, and now things are going crazy again. Soldiers are wandering around at random, the infamous bandit Lucia Kintaro has been seen pillaging villages and at least eight different people seem to think they are king. So far though the Barons seem loyal to King Andor, but the Red Dragon wonders what it will tak to get things calm again.

POOR AND NEEDY SENT FAR FAR AWAY!

In what has been something of a gift to all those posh nobles and merchants who claim that the streets of the world are too cluttered with human debris it seems that some kind soul has been trying to get the poor and needy off into some kind of paradise. Rumours are circulating about this wonderful new homeland, called Ilithlea. Supposedly only those who deserve to go will be taken, but the Red Dragon would like to ask if there is room for a wounded old hack onboard whatever express trip there is to paradise.

HOLDIAY DESTINATIONS TURNING UP AGAIN!

If Ilithlea doesn't appeal then the Red Dragon would like to point out that the Valley of the Dracul's, Darkil's, Daruls? is apparently turning out to be a new tourist hot spot.What with the old rulers of this tiny place having been replaced with some kind new soul who seems to be ditching the old blood, guts and sacrifices late at night aspect of the old place. Holiday options have never been so good.

CHAMATA! NO THANKS!

Of course holiday spots are turning up, but Chamata is way off the list. Aparently some war has broken out between the forces lead by the 'noble lord Akarto Tang-Chan' and some scourage from the desert. Numerous victories have been gained in the last month though the Red Dragon has learnt and what with the addition of a rather large number of mercenaries the tide of war is definitely turning towards the Chamatans. The Red Dragon would like to offer its support for the brave men and women fighting out there.

REFUGEES AND OTHER THINGS!

It seems that what with all these interesting holiday spots turning up recently people are moving south. A steady trickle of refugees has ben wworming its way down from the north over the last few months. Things look like they have been particularly tough up there from the number of serious frost bite cases that the Red Dragon has witnessed in their limping numbers.

SAVE OUR SELVES!

The concerted efforts of the governments of the North - the City States, Nitlas, the Papacy, New Taeorn and friends have managed to precent the evil Flencaalese plot to kill our people. The Red Dragon has learnt that the consul of Flencaal himself is behind thes actions of wanton brutality that have killed thousands of innocent lives. The Red Dragon only hopes that someone can bring the evil doer to justice! Certainly now that the free clinics have started and things are going well with operation Catch the Assassains, the top secret code name for these operations, the Red Dragon can see the drop in the number of people dying. Hurrah for effective action, and lets make sure that Flencaal and the Consul pay!

Red Dragon Rumours

"Ey' up our M'avis did you see that flying man last night. Surely you did. What with his wings and things as he sored over our house. No, right strange, him following another man just like that. What do you mean you don't believe me. Yes I was coming from the pub, but that ain't no reason to call a man a lier."
"Sir Tim is the prophet of Arinda I tell you. The light of the party shines in his eyes and he dances like a master. All hail Arianda and pass me another drink!"
"Strange things happen with royalty I tell youse. Why just last week I was hearing that there was all kinds of 'real' kings and this week it seems that the one real king is actually not a real king but some kind of mix up at birth. Seems down right strange to me these ways of the royalty. Stick to what I know me, chicken sexing."
"E'Koyoni uprising. I think that's unlikely. They've been smashed for years though. Still could mean trouble if they decide to start up the old feud. They sure have ben laying low though. Right low. Maybe they've been up to something. Maybe they've got a cunning plan. Maybe I should worry about this and go and warn the A'Peylions, but maybe the E'Koyoni know that's what I'll do. Hmmmmm…
"There's an undead army I tell you. Rotting and flailing about with their twisted limbs formed from pure evil. Run, run while you can Ba'nan'na. They will fight their way through Chamata and then onto us. Run!"
"Pale hands, pale face and eyes of red. She haunt's my nights you know. Blood dripping from her fingernails. Dripping onto me, making me shiver. Sleep would be a blessing, life a curse, but there is so much to do."

This weeks competition to win a million shields can be found on the back page of this newspaper. This is your chance to win a million shields, which will be coming from the soon to be successful court case against Seven and Theodore. So turn over to find out how you can win a million shield