RED DRAGON STEALS MILLENIALIST STORIES!

In our top story, the Red Dragon Star has been accused by sources close to that paper of stealing research from crack Millenialist reporters. While these sources understandably wished to remain anonymous, they maintained that five of the stories appearing in the last issue were in fact stolen from this respected journal, including reports that Pope Paltrow was, in fact, dead. (This seems to have worked perfectly: the story was a hoax planted to see if Millenialist stories were beings stolen. While we haven't seen the God Emperor lately, he certainly seemed alive last we knew, and we haven't seen a corpse.)

The Millenialist wishes to advise that these reports are unconfirmed rumours from Red Dragon Star staffers who might merely be disgruntled with their employer. However, you can be sure that we will continue to look into these reports thoroughly.

HUGE STREET PARTY IN CHUTE

Sir Tim partied like tomorrow would never come, this time using the coin of Lady Alyssa and the Council of Chute to fund a booster bash for the city's morale. It worked: said one of the more coherent participants, "It's all right! Do I feel good about the city? Of course I feel good about Chute!" Observed another, "Yeah sure, but tonight he ain't feelin' no pain, anyway."

Did that mischevious mind-mage make you bet on the losing horses yesterday?
Did that scheming wench mesmerize you into taking her home (and is that what she made you tell your wife)?

TIRED OF IT? THEN TRY DR. McKENZIE'S MIND-FORCE NULLIFICATION HAT!

Guaranteed to keep prying minds out of your head!

VILE BLACKHAWK KILLS LORD MARSHALL; CROWN PRINCE PROMISES TOUGH TALK

Nitlas seems to have some severe civil unrest recently, especially after the murder of its Lord Marshall by Morgan Blackhawk, once hero of the realm and now destested varmit! Crown Prince Tarin Andor is trying to maintain peace and his series of talks and speachs have had good success, but is it enough to stop the country collapsing into a nobility vs. churches argument? Rumours of church burnings have been increasing and there was a massacre of 'blasphemers' at the village of Von Dram...

WHAT TOKOL DON'T CONVERT, STARS AND RIBBONS BUY

Chamta faced the fires of religious strife, as Tokol missionaries tried their best to bring "enlightenment" to the ancestor-worshipping people of that nation. Tensions are mounting as the few converts stand defiant in the face of traditionalists who see their forebearers being foresaken.

In the meantime, the Green Ribbon and the Star of the North (two trading companies described as "particularly rapacious" by an unnamed source) have been buying up as much housing and land as they can get their hands on. No representative could be reached for comment, but the natives of fair Chamta didn't seem to have a clue why...

VICTOR/VICTORYLESS? WINNER OF TELKARI BATTLE STILL UNKNOWN

The fog doesn't seem to have cleared from the fields of Telkari, where it's impossible to tell whether the rebellion has been crushed, or the God Emporer's forces are singing with the choir invisible.

Eyewitnesses on the scene (which does not include Millenialist reporters, too smart to be anywhere near) describe incredible chaos, and both sides seem to have declared victory at least once. Assasinations of Papacy officials seem to have reached new heights, and Admiral Lillon is said to have been found dead next to the wheel of his vessel, the Righteous Fist. True? Who can say?

NEW TAEORN GETS NEW COUNCIL: WE HOPE YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THE LAST!

Congratulations are due to Priestess Ritava of Tokol, El Inti Priest of Tokol, Jowston the Rich, Arundal (ex-Captain of the Guards), and Indigo Blaze (once he returns). These fine fellows have been elected to the new Council, and we wish them a good deal of luck: they're going to need it. After the familiar grumblings of the losers regarding things like "recounts" and "checking of electoral integrity," things seem to have returned to a calm, peaceful state. Until The Honorable Mr. Blaze returns, his place is being taken by the (self-declared) Prince Hulitka. Good luck, guys!

OH, AND HOW COULD WE FORGET: SOMEBODY'S GETTING MARRIED!

But how could anyone care about stuffy old politics, with the wonderful news that Callisto Chambers, the respected man about town in New Taeorn, is to marry Lady Jane a'Peylion, a woman whose beauty is only matched by the confusion in the Millenialist staff-room about how to spell (let alone capitalize) her family name. The ceremony, reputed by all respectable gossip columnists to be a lavish and spectacular affair scheduled for next month, will be accompanied by the declaration of a city-wide holiday.

BANKS FOOLED BY JEWEL TOOLS

Several bank break-ins have ruined two major banks, the Silver Vault and the Golden Guilder. The collapse of these two institutions has caused trade fluctuations throughout the city-states. Several traders, upset by the sudden uncertainty in the marketplace, have offered large rewards for the heads of the thief or thieves, but have not been convinced that the severed offerings brought to them so far are authentic. "I'd be worried if I were a thief," said one security specialist. "Then again, with the size of those rewards, I'd be scared with all those bounty hunters..."

GUR: EVERYWHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE

The horrible "Sleepy Sickness" has spread throughout the Kingdom of Gur, bringing the lethargy that makes one lose the will to live. Symptoms include puffy eyes, pale skin, and a weakened constitution. Total dead are estimated at about one hundred, but the disease seems to be on the decline.

No one has much of an idea what gods or fate caused the plague, though one victim was heard to croak, "You know it's those force-touched: they play with us like we was dogs, and they was gods..."

EDITORIAL: THE GRINDING OF THE GEARS

Does anyone remember how it used to be? The Magister, keeping things stable? Our lives, blessed by the periodic changing of the seasons and the calm knowledge that all was in control?

Now what do we have? Where the Force-Touched reign supreme, we have chaos and bloodshed. But while the supposed "descendants" of the Magister don't seem to be doing much to calm these tides (besides the frivolous parties of Chute), the mundane-born certainly aren't helping. Paranoia, as everyone wonders what our favorite xenophobic nation is doing; a lack of charity, as Gur suffers, some say at the hands of some Land-touched fool who finds it to his advantage to weaken the poor nation; dishonest, as the Red Dragon Star pilfers our inbox for its stories. It is as if the hands of the watchmaker, which greased and oiled his creation for so long, made sure its springs were wound and its pendulum swaying gently, had been removed, and now all we hear are the grinding of the gears.

We live in dismal times, my friends. The Millenialist hopes it can bring some rays of light to our darkness, and indeed pledges to concentrate on the good news that we can bring to the world. But without some powerful steadying hand, some force to guide the disparate centers of power which have risen among us, we fear we will have little cause to write stories to make you smile.

So when you see your neighbors, friends, give them aid if you can. When you look to your leaders, ask them to lead you, instead of squabble among themselves. And if you have a spare prayer, hope that the hand of that watchmaker returns, to guide the Force-Touched and the normal citizen alike, into peace.

-M. F.

M. F. , Editor